£89m for a dabbing Cheick Tiote
£89m for a Michael Carrick of Guinean descent
£89m for a midfield Simon Mignolet
£89m for a tall Florentin Pogba
£89m for a short Mathias Pogba
£89m for an unsophisticated Mathieu Flamini
£89m for a hairy Jonjo Shelvey
£89m for a skinny Kwadwo Asamoah
£89m for a Steed Malbranque with a Twitter account
£89m for a Henri Lansbury sponsored by Adidas
£89m for a “Team of the Season” Claudio Yacob
£89m for a jumping Tom Huddleston
£89m for a medically cleared Fabrice Muamba
£89m for an angry Fabian Delph
£89m for an inexperienced Mile Jedinak
£89m for a smug Leroy Fer
£89m for a Farmville playing Danny Murphy
£89m for a lazy Zoltan Gera
£89m for a dancing Mark Noble
£89m for a photo negative Nicky Butt
£89m for a soccer playing Tim Tebow
£89m for a reanimated Marc Viven Foe
The GDP of South Sudan
5 Toni Krooses
2.5 Mesut Ozils
3 Miralem Pjanics
10 Christian Erikssens
21 Eric Diers
1483 Seamus Colemans
16 Eiffel Towers
28 T-14 Armata battle tanks
4 Van Gogh’s “Vases with Fifteen Sunflowers”
2 Boeing 737-NGs
1 Juventus Stadium
“B-b-but Man United’s intimidation factor is b-b-back guys!”
“Muh, muh, muh shirt sales!”
The UK spends around £700m per year on importing cucumbers, which comes to
roughly 5 billion cucumbers. £100m would buy you about 714,000,000 cucumbers.
The length of the average cucumber is ~18cm, its width is ~7cm, and its weight is
Old Trafford is 105x68m.
If you wanted to cover the entire pitch at Old Trafford with cucumbers,
it would only take 566,093 cucumbers to do so.
If you wanted to form a cube of pure cucumber and put it on the pitch at Old Trafford, you could build a cube of pure cucumber
100.9 metres high, weighing about 12,240 tonnes.
Alternatively, you could place 9,439 cucumbers in each seat.
Instead of filling a pitch with cucumbers, Manchester United spent that money on the far more stupid option of the French Charlie Adam.
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